Since the Dragon Breath & Broken Penis Plan wasn’t the Hail Mary her lawyers were counting on, Orianne Cevey has come up with another strategy to keep her in Phil Collins’ multi-million Miami Beach mansion. Phil has been trying to evict his ex-wife Orianne from his Florida mansion for several months now because it’s his house, and he doesn’t want his ex-wife living there (especially not with her new husband, which she allegedly has been doing). Despite a lawsuit telling her to get out, Orianne ain’t going nowhere. And now she’s claiming that she literally can’t pack her bags and leave the property, because of spine issues.
Page Six says that not long after Orianne tried to paint Phil as an alcoholic, pill-popping invalid with terrible hygiene and no erections, her lawyers decided to try another angle in their attempt to keep 46-year-old Orianne and her husband of two months, Thomas Bates, in 69-year-old Phil’s home. Although to be fair, Orianne claims that it’s 50% hers, based on a promise Phil made to her in 2015, upon convincing her to leave her husband at the time and move back in with him (and that’s when Phil allegedly started to let things go, personally and soap-wise).
Orianne is claiming that she has to stay in Phil’s house because she can’t physically move due to a “debilitating spinal condition” that is now being brought to everyone’s attention.
Orianne Cevey has been claiming she is owed half of the value of Collin’s $40 million mansion and now says she physically can’t leave because of the previously unreported medical condition. Cevey claims she can’t possibly “disrupt her daily regime and access to special equipment at the luxury waterfront property in Miami Beach or she would become wheelchair bound.”
Kristian pretty much exhausted Phil’s entire song catalog in his last post, so I’m gonna have to dig into the Genesis archives for this next joke. According to documents filed by Orianne’s lawyers (and obtained by The Daily Mail), it sounds like not only can’t she dance, but the only walking she’s doing is with the help of a physiotherapist.
“Cevey suffered damage to her spinal cord in a routine operation in 2014 after suffering a neck injury in a martial arts exhibition in Paris. [Orianne must now] undergo five hours of physical therapy and training per day, Monday through Saturday…in order to simply maintain her current condition. She undergoes three hours of therapy in the home on various equipment purchased for her therapy needs, and in the home’s swimming pool, and another two hours of therapy at a nearby therapy center.”
Page Six, not one to miss an opportunity to be petty, points to Orianne’s Instagram account, in which she appears to use up any spare time in between all that extensive hardcore back therapy with trips to St. Barths, boxing with a trainer, and mountain climbing.
It’s pretty hard to argue that you can’t physically drop a couple of coffee mugs into a moving box when you’re busting ass up a Swiss mountain like The Yodeler from The Price is Right. Naturally, a source close to Phil is calling bullshit on Orianne’s back story:
“She is making this big claim in court papers, but she hardly looks like a person in need of daily physical therapy, let alone the kind of therapy that can only be done at Phil’s house. Who claims they can’t leave the house or they’ll be in a wheel-chair and then climbs a mountain?”
Another source tells The Daily Mail that Orianne might just be throwing anything out, in an attempt to drag out this lawsuit and force Phil into a settlement.
“The truth is [Orianne] enjoys living in luxury and she wants to frustrate her husband’s plans to spend Christmas at the property. It’s all part of a transparent ploy to push him into a situation where he will come to a settlement – as if the previous one wasn’t enough.”
When Orianne divorced Phil in 2008, she reportedly walked away with an alleged $45.7 million. She’s reportedly asking for half of the value of the $40 million Miami Beach home. This situation continues to be messy, and I feel like we’re on the cusp of seeing Orianne hobbling into court in a neck brace, like on The Brady Bunch. I just hope for her sake, she remembers not to get caught turning her head by Bobby and Cindy.